call me ocean hearted: December 2015

fears: needles and relationships

I am made up of four walls. Two walls for the lies. One wall for the brokenness. One wall for the anxieties. I've b...

(a not very poetic poem for my sister)

This is for my sister.

My sister and I didn't always used to be close.

Actually, we became close when I moved out of the house, which was four months ago.

My sister and I haven't always been the best of friends

But now, she is one of my very best friends,

And I want her to always be that.

She is the person I know I can ramble on and on about the boy who danced with me in the snow,

And I can do the same thing with that boy who gives me butterflies without him even doing anything but smile.

She thinks I'm kind of dumb sometimes, and because she's taller than me, everybody thinks she is the one that is supposed to be in college.

And I feel that.

She is mature enough to be in college.

She deserves to not have to wake up until 9 o clock for class (because I know how hard that is for you, trust me, I know), and I want her to be my roommate, because I haven't had that with her since I was twelve years old.

She was the best roommate I could've ever asked for.

I want her to be here with me.. To see the campus the way I see it, to see the Christmas lights in my room and all of my polaroids, and I want her to play nertz with me at Brock's apartment.

I want her to snuggle with me while I both cry or laugh until three in the morning.

She is the person I want to share that with.

Because she is my best friend.

She hasn't always been my best friend…

We used to fight about stupid things, like borrowing clothes, and when I would take really long showers, and I miss fighting about stupid things like that with her.

They are right though… distance does make the heart grow fonder.

But distance is hard, and I just want to hug her right now.

Because she is my little angel, and she always has been, and I want to be that for her right now.

I want to save her.

Because I already understand her, but I just want to hug her. In the way nobody hugged me when I was feeling the exact same way she is right now.

I love my sister.

She is my saving grace.

She is selfless, and good, and talented, and strong, and she does hard things.

She always has been able to do hard things, and she always will be able to do hard things.

She is my best friend.

She is my very best friend.

She is my angel.

She is my saving grace.

She is my best friend.

She is enough.

She is my sister dear.

She is my sister.

She is my best friend.

And she will always be my best friend.

This is for my sister.

for my sister

(a not very poetic poem for my sister) This is for my sister. My sister and I didn't always used to be close. ...

important

"Do not blink and assume the whole world is dark." -Sam

"Who in the world are you? You are exactly what the world needs." -Mr. Marianno

Murphy's Law: everything that can happen will happen.

"Time seems to kill dreams, but dreams do take time. Time is on your side. Don't let it even try to scare you." -Kara Allen

"I am a collection of dismantled almosts."

"She was powerful, not because she wasn't scared, but because she went on so strongly despite the fear." -Atticus

"Do not be a fool, you are not her pacemaker or life support. Without you, she'll still live. I daresay she'll thrive." -Sam

"Your legs were made to run and your bones were made to heal, so let yourself fall so deeply into someone else that you do not know which way is up, knowing that someday you may fall out." -Phil Kaye

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fears: needles and relationships

for my sister

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